If you must have an argument how do you better your chances of success?

We all have to deal with difficult situations and difficult people.  Avoiding all guns blazing confrontations and arguments should be the aim.  But lets face it, sometimes it just can’t be avoided.  To help in these situations, I came across these four tips.  It works on you being able to do two important things:

  • Let them speak first 
  • Listen to what they say

If you are not prepared to do either of these, then read no further.  If you think you can but don’t know how, look at some of the other blog articles on listening.

Anyway, here are the four steps: 

  1. Aim to re-express the other person’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly they says, "Thanks, I wish I'd thought of putting it that way."
  2. List any points of agreement (whether they be big or small).
  3. Mention anything you have learned from them.
  4. Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.

Why do this? 

The other person will be a receptive audience for your criticism:

  • you have already shown that you understand their positions as well as they do; and

  • have demonstrated good judgment (you agree with them on some important matters and have even been persuaded by something they said)

You can check out more here: Intuition Pumps And Other Tools for Thinking

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