Get the latest coaching tips from Karri Tree Coaching

It does not matter how good you are at communicating, if the person you are communicating with is difficult to deal with then the communication becomes complicated. We all hate dealing with difficult people. They take more of your time and they can really wear you down. And let's be honest, they exist everywhere, whether it's with coworkers, family, or friends, you just can’t ignore them. I like to think that I don’t coach difficult people but I have coached lots of clients who work with difficult people. There are ways to try and make it easier and below are some helpful tips on how to manage these challenging interactions and end up feeling more positive. 1. Develop Effective Communication Strategies Suspend Judgment Before you even start, go in with an open mind. If you go in convinced that the conversation is going to go no-where you will not be surprised when it does, in fact, go no-where. Listen Actively Listening well is really important. This sounds easy but it is much more difficult to do when you don’t have a good relationship with the person who is speaking. When you're talking to someone who's being tough to deal with, make sure you don't cut them off or start thinking about what you're going to say next while they're still talking. Try to really focus on what they are saying and see if you can understand where they're coming from and why they are saying what they are saying. Ask questions if you need to, and show them with nods and your attention that you're really paying attention. Actually being interested in what people are saying has the effect of improving your understanding and at the same time it can have a calming effect on the person speaking as they feel they have your attention. Choose Your Words Carefully When it is your turn to speak, speak clearly and keep things simple. Avoid saying stuff that could make matters worse. It's not about winning an argument, but about getting along with each other. 2. Manage Your Emotional Responses Stay Calm If the other person is getting upset, remember to stay calm. Staying chilled makes a big difference. When you remain calm, you are able to stay balanced and focused on what the conversation is about. People generally find it difficult to keep yelling at a person who doesn’t yell back. Try to see things from their point of view. This is much easier to do when you are calmer. They might be dealing with tough stuff you're not aware of. Being understanding doesn't mean it's okay for them to act badly, but it can make dealing with it a bit easier. 3. Understand the Bigger Picture, Set Boundaries and Focus on What You Can Control Separate the Personal and Environmental Elements If someone's being difficult, ask yourself: Are they difficult all the time and with everyone or is it only in specific situations or only with you? To truly understand this you need to spend some time observing them from afar. If it is the situation that causes the issue, then try moving the discussion to a different place or time to focus on the conversation rather than the environment. Tell them that you have noticed these situations make them uncomfortable and even ask them to set the time and place that they are most comfortable with. If the issue is more personal and specifically related to your relationship, then you have to do your best to keep the conversation focused on the topic and not relationship. One way to do this is to acknowledge that the relationship has issues but that the purpose of the conversation is to solve or agree a way forward on a specific task or work related problem. The conversation is not designed to resolve the personal conflict. Define Limits and Accept What is Achievable While it is important that you remain calm and actively listen, you should also be aware of your limits and be firm when they are crossed. Be clear on what actions you're not okay with. Like, "I would appreciate if you don’t yell" or "Using that type of language doesn't help." At the end of the day, it's really important to take care of your mind and feelings. While it may be that they have their own stuff going on which is causing the problem, don't let their own issues become yours. If you need to, you can suggest that they get help. If it gets out of your control do not be afraid to step back or seek help. Ultimately You Can’t Change Who People Really Are While you can improve things by taking the time and making an effort to understand difficult people, you ultimately can't change who they are. You can only choose how you react to them. 4. Get Better by Reflection and Coaching Learn from Each Interaction As interactions with difficult people are not a single event, or sometimes not even a single person, you should take the time to consider what went well and what didn't. Learn from this so you do better in your next attempt. Work with a Coach If you are running into problems, cannot seem to go anywhere and its really important, get some help. Think of working with a coach (I am always available), it's smart to talk to people who can help you see things from an external perspective. They can help you see things about yourself that you can’t or many don’t what to see. A couch can give you some helpful tips. Conclusion Dealing with difficult people gets easier with practice, staying calm, and focusing on the outcome not the person is important. Use these methods to make the best out of tough situations. Don’t become a difficult person as a way of dealing with a difficult person.

It is one of those days at work: you're super busy and your schedule is packed. This is the day when someone asks you to do even more. Are you the type of person that feels bad saying "no?" This feeling is normal, but remember, saying "no" is important for your own health, happiness and performance. Here's a simple guide on how to do it without feeling guilty: Express Gratitude Start with a Thank You: When someone asks you for something, start by thanking them. It shows you appreciate their request even if you can't fulfill it. This not only softens the impact of your refusal but also maintains a positive tone in your communication. For example, “Thank you for thinking of me for this project. I really appreciate your trust in my abilities.” Be Clear and Direct Just Say It: You don't need to make up excuses. A simple "I can't do this right now" is clear and respectful. Being straightforward helps avoid any misunderstandings and sets clear expectations. Offer a Reason, Briefly Keep it Simple: If you decide to explain, make it brief. A reason like “I’m currently managing multiple deadlines and can’t commit to more work right now.” is enough. Over-explaining can sometimes lead to unnecessary justifications and may make you seem unsure. Suggest an Alternative Help Differently: If you can't do what they're asking, maybe there's another way you can help. For example, if you can't attend a meeting, offer to send your ideas by email beforehand. Maybe you can suggest that you meet up tomorrow to discuss it when you have time. This shows that you’re still willing to contribute, just in a different way. Use Assertive Language Be Confident: Use clear and confident language. Instead of saying "I think," say "I know" or "I'm sure." Assertive communication conveys confidence and clarity, which helps in establishing boundaries effectively. For example, “I know this is an important task, but I must focus on my current priorities.” Practice Self-Care Remember Your Worth: It's not selfish to say "no." It's about taking care of your mental and physical health. Regularly reminding yourself of this can reduce feelings of guilt. Self-care is essential for maintaining long-term productivity and job satisfaction. By setting boundaries, you can ensure that you can continue to perform at your best. Redirect Positively End of a High Note: After saying "no," try to end the conversation positively. Maybe suggest another time you could help out or express your interest in working together in the future. Regularly reminding yourself of this can reduce feelings of guilt. Maintaining positive working relationships are essential for long-term productivity and job satisfaction. In short, saying "no" is about respecting your own limits and making sure you don't get overwhelmed. Think of it like having safety ropes around your time and energy - it's clear but friendly. By implementing these strategies, you not only protect your well-being but also model healthy boundaries for your colleagues. It’s a critical skill in maintaining a balanced work environment. Setting boundaries helps ensure you remain effective and productive in your role, ultimately benefiting everyone involved. So next time you’re faced with an additional request, remember these tips and give yourself permission to prioritize your own needs.

Electronic calendars are a fantastic tool. They allow you to know where you need to be and when you need to be there where ever you are in the world. If you want a meeting with someone, you can just send them an invitation and it shows up in their calendar and now that virtual meetings have taken off and have even become a preference they can even be arranged at short notice. There is a downside to this - do you now spend your life in meetings? Do you open your calendar in the morning and see no white space? How can you get more control over this? I suggest you ask three simple questions when anyone asks for a meeting: 1. Is it URGENT? 2. WHAT is it about? 3. How LONG do you need? Asking these three questions really focuses the mind of the people wanting to meet you. You'll know: 1. How important it is; 2. Whether its something you want to meet about; and 3. A realistic time fame If you ask these questions you will be amazing at how many 15 minute meetings appear in your diary. And after 15 minutes you can throw them out. One final point - if you have a personal assistant, get them to ask the questions and remove the administrative burden altogether. If you would like to know more feel free to contact me below.

Let's be honest - we all have moments where we feel stuck, stagnant, or like we're operating at just a fraction of our full capabilities. Clients often say they feel like they are coasting along in their career, doing good work but not feeling fully fired up or challenged. Strangely enough they can see this, know that they have more to give, but can't quite seem to tap into that energy. The Costs of Untapped Energy Operating in that unsettling grey zone of having more to give, but not fully activating it, comes with heavy costs: - Lack of motivation, no creativity and feeling stuck - Persistent feelings of restlessness and lack of fulfillment - Increasing job dissatisfaction - A spiral of missed opportunities for both the business and yourself - Falling behind your less talented colleagues Essentially, the longer you spend coasting through your workdays, the more you sell yourself short. Like a car coasting along a road, every now and then you need to give it a boost of power or eventually it will come to a complete stop. The truth is, unlocking your hidden reserves of talent, creativity, and drive doesn't just happen by chance. It takes purposeful effort. People only change when they really want to. You need to first unpack where you are and then figure out where you want to go. Activating Who You Really Are Here are some ways that can help you shed things that are weighing you down and focus on regaining momentum: Get Clear on Priorities: Regaining clarity on your core motivations and goals allows you to focus the small amount of energy you have to start with. Adopt a Change Mindset: People only change when the pain of change is less than the pain of staying where you are. Do you really want to change? Try/Learn Something New: Anything that gets you interested will create energy. It can be personal, work or social related. And the best thing is that you might learn something from it. Remind Yourself: Take time for purposeful self-reflection to remind yourself about what are your unique strengths and achievements and how these create opportunities. Remember your blindspots and how to get around them. Expand Your Circles: Surrounding yourself with people, environments, and input that inspire and excite you. Meet new people and engage in conversation. This can include people you work with. Make an effort to be more social in the office. The path to all of this is uniquely personal. Everyone is different, while a coach can help you clarify what you want, the choice is yours. One truth remains - you have to make unlocking your potential an active, consistent commitment. Even a small change can have a profound payoff. Those who actively work to change don't just experience more career satisfaction themselves - they become indispensable to the people around them. The first choice that you have to make is whether you prefer to just complain about it or whether you actually want to change it.

Are you a consultant? Do you want to be a “trusted advisor” to your clients? Maybe you need to trust THEM more! Strong client relationships are key as they create opportunities for providing more services. The pinnacle of this is: Being considered a “Trusted Advisor.” I was a consultant and a client of consultants. My realisation: many consultants think that are giving advice, and maybe they are, but its only technical and business at best. A “Trusted Advisor” is someone who adds the personal advice. In addition to outlining the issue and providing the options available they, the individual, goes that one step further and tells you what they would do if they were in your position. Why is this important? People like to know that they are making the right decision. In a professional service firm, it is easy to debate issues around a table and get different views. In a corporate environment, it is a lot lonelier at the top. Knowing that a similarly qualified person would do the same thing in your position is comforting and helpful. It can be that little bit of reassurance you need – the sanity check in your decision making process. Now to some people, and in some professions, this may seem like a risky thing to do. After all, what if it turns out that the decision is the wrong one. Can a client now blame you for giving bad advice? This is where the word “trust” comes in. Not all professional services providers are the same and likewise not all clients are the same. If you cannot trust that your client understands the difference between professional advice and personal opinion are you really going to be their Trusted Advisor. So my advice: pick clients who are sophisticated enough to understand what a trusted advisor is and then start being more personal in the advice you give. Firms aren’t trusted advisors – people are.

As the owner of a business, it's easy to become consumed by work and neglect other important aspects of your life. The constant demands, long hours, and need to be “constantly on” can lead to stress and leaving you feeling drained, unmotivated, and even resentful towards your business and employees. If nothing is done, it can ultimately lead to complete burnout. Achieving a healthy work-life balance is crucial for both your personal well-being and the long-term success of your business. Here are some practical strategies to help you strike the right balance between your professional and personal life. 1. Prioritize You: the Person Running a business can be mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. It's essential to put aside some of your time to maintain your energy levels. Make time for activities that rejuvenate you, whether it's exercise, meditation, reading, or simply spending time with family and friends at a purely social level. When you prioritize your well-being, you'll be better equipped to handle the demands of your business. 2. Set Boundaries and Learn to Unplug In the digital age, it's tempting to be "on" all the time. While this is true for everyone, when you run a business the need to know everything that is happening every minute of the day never stops. Anything that you leave on all the time eventually stops working . Set clear boundaries between work and personal time, and learn to unplug from your business when you're not working. This might mean disabling email notifications, avoiding work-related tasks during designated personal time, or even just turning the phone off for a couple of hours. 3. Delegate and Outsource As the owner and the person ultimately responsible, it's natural to want to be involved in every aspect of your business. However, trying to do everything yourself is the one thing that will always lead to you continuing to do it yourself . Learn to delegate tasks to trusted employees or outsource non-essential tasks to freelancers or the increasingly popular virtual assistant. This will free up your time and energy to focus on the most important aspects of your business. 4. Cultivate a Support System You don't have to know all the answers . Building a strong support system is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Surround yourself with individuals who understand the demands of entrepreneurship and can offer emotional support, guidance, and accountability. This could include a mentor, a coach, or even fellow business owners who can share their experiences and insights. 5. Schedule Downtime and Vacations As a business owner, it's easy to neglect taking time off , but regular downtime and vacations are essential for recharging and preventing burnout. Schedule regular breaks, whether it's a weekend getaway or a longer vacation, and make a conscious effort to fully disconnect from work during these periods. This will allow you to return to your business feeling refreshed and energized. Achieving a healthy work-life balance is an ongoing process that requires mindfulness, discipline, and a willingness to prioritize your well-being. By implementing these strategies, you'll be better equipped to overcome burnout, maintain your passion for your business, and enjoy a fulfilling life outside of work. If you find the whole concept of work-life balance out of your reach or impossible to even contemplate, then you need to look at it differently: https://www.karritree.com/make-a-healthy-work-life-balance-your-new-normal

Unlocking the full potential of your employees is crucial for the success of any business. The productivity and well-being of your team directly impacts the trajectory of your business. While every business owner desires a motivated and high-performing team, achieving this isn't straightforward and can be extremely frustrating. The most common feeling is that these employees merely fulfil their job requirements without showing enthusiasm or dedication. So, how can business owners cultivate a team that consistently delivers exceptional results and is passionate about their work? When people build their own businesses they pour their heart and soul into it. When employees don't share that same passion, the disconnect between employer and employee can be disheartening, However, it's important to recognize that as a business owner, you hold the power to influence how your employees perceive and approach their work. Rather than attributing this lack of passion solely to the individuals you've hired, consider the role your leadership plays in shaping their attitudes towards work. Here are some strategies to transform your employees' work ethic and foster a culture of high performance: 1. Prioritise Employee Growth: Research indicates that employees are more likely to excel when they feel valued and supported within their team. Demonstrate genuine care for your employees' personal growth and development to cultivate a sense of belonging and loyalty. You need to understand what motivates and drives them and use this when defining tasks as roles. 2. Clearly Communicate Expectations: Set clear expectations for your employees and align their job responsibilities with your business objectives. Encourage them to surpass these expectations by providing opportunities for growth and advancement. These expectations need to be more than just numbers and KPIs - they need to include your passion to go beyond the normal. 3. Foster a Culture of Ownership: Take a look at the working environment you've created and assess whether it inadvertently enables complacency among some employees. Are you always there to pick up the slack if something goes wrong or if people don’t deliver? People will always take the easy path. If someone is there to make sure it's 100% right then why do I need to worry about it? It is important that you create an atmosphere where accountability and initiative are not only expected but valued. 4. Embrace Accountability: Lead by example by taking ownership of your mistakes and seeking feedback from your employees. Establish an environment where constructive criticism is welcomed, and employees feel empowered to voice their opinions. 5. Recognize and Appreciate Efforts: Make a conscious effort to acknowledge and praise your employees for their contributions and achievements. Recognition serves as a powerful motivator and reinforces positive behaviours. It does not have to be big and formal, a simple “thanks that was well done” can be enough if you really mean it. 6. Leverage Strengths: While this may seem obvious, to get the most value out of this it takes some broader thinking. Assign tasks and responsibilities that align with each employee's strengths and expertise. Empower them to excel in their respective roles while providing support for areas where they may need to grow. If you can link this to their growth it will be even more powerful. 7. Accept the Differences: No matter what it relates to, people will always have a stronger connection to something they created versus something acquired. While employees may love their job and want to see it grow, they will never see it the same way. Accept this and listen to their feedback. They can see things you can’t and sometimes, just sometimes, they may be right. As an owner, you are the person responsible for the success of the business but doing it alone is not always the best solution. Gather feedback from your team and external sources. Actively involve employees in improving the work environment, implementing changes gradually. Be open to adapting your leadership style based on team feedback. Practise patience and understanding during the transition, encouraging employees to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. And if you need someone to help you focus on all of this, consider hiring a coach.

In the business world, seasoned leaders often face tough challenges. While executive coaching is usually seen as a way to improve skills or correct under performance, it actually offers more benefits for experienced leaders. Even if you are doing a good job, here are five advantages of using working with a coach.

Leadership is like steering a ship, and persuasion is the wind in its sails, pushing ideas into action. As an executive and business coach, who has worked with people around the globe, I have seen how persuasive leadership can make a real difference. Here are four simple steps to improve your ability to persuade and enhance your influence. 1. Build Trust: The Foundation of Persuasion Think of trust as the solid ship upon which you sail. To build it, you start by having a deep understanding in the knowledge related to your field, be ready for objections, and have well-thought-out responses. But it's not just about what you know. Listen to your team, value their opinions, and create an environment where everyone's ideas matter. When people feel valued, they find it easier to contribute value. 2. Know Your Audience: Tailor Your Message Being persuasive means understanding who you're talking to. These are the people that actually make the ship sail the right direction and the most efficient way. Identify the decision-makers, influencers, and key players. Keep in mind that people have different backgrounds and roles. Customize your message to each group, highlighting mutual benefits and finding common ground. Connecting personally will make your message more powerful. Take the time to actually get to know the people you deal with and what drives them. 3. Make a Strong Case: Back It Up with Proof When presenting your ideas, make sure your case is solid. Use logic, facts, and relevant experiences to support your argument. Visual aids can help make things clearer but are not a substitute of knowledge. Share endorsements from credible sources to strengthen your position. Address concerns from different viewpoints to show you understand the complexities involved. 4. Be Likable: The Heart of Persuasion When people are on a sailboat they aren’t just there to work. They want to enjoy the ride. Persuasion isn't just about facts; being likable matters. Adjust your approach to match your audience's emotions. Align your vision with theirs to create unity and motivation. Building a personal connection goes beyond work, creating an environment where ideas can flourish. Elevate your leadership journey with persuasive mastery. Let's shape the future together! #LeadershipExcellence #PersuasiveLeadership #BusinessInsightsLeadership Want to know more? Explore Robert B. Cialdini's work on the Psychology of Persuasion and Simon Sinek's seminal video 'Start with why -- how great leaders inspire action' to refine your strategy. Elevate your leadership journey with persuasive mastery.